Zen Girl

Centering into the journey.

That pesky narrator.

I’m a of fan and student of Eastern traditions and Buddhist teachings.  Part of this includes understanding that personal, individual experience and who we think we are is an illusion, that our minds think as a constant and pointless reaffirmation of our living state, that knowing the true wisdom of life comes from loss of Ego, and that many benefits can be had from identifying and losing this Ego self.  As I continue learning, here is my initial understanding of the Ego.  This is extremely enjoyable for me, and any of those who are further along in the exploration of their Ego and True Selves are encouraged to leave comments or suggestions.

That sneaky little never-ending narrator in our minds tends to have more pull over our actions and words than we tend to realize.  We actually listen to that narrator, our Ego Selves, and take what it tells us as truth.  This narrator babbles on and on during all waking moments of our lives, unless we control it. “Remember the last time you said or did that? What about tomorrow?  Don’t forget about that, don’t say that, don’t do that.” Blah blah blah.  All of this affects what we do and say, influencing our every action.  We go through life, some of us our entire lives, thinking this narrator is who we are.

But this Ego is actually just a collection of thoughts, ideas and experiences, which are changing every second of every minute as we intake new information from the material world.  So if you think you are that narrator in your head, who is that exactly?  Who are you?  Are you the person you were yesterday?  Yesterday doesn’t exist.  You can only exist in this very moment, but the Ego exists outside of now, in a realm of past and future. It’s consistently scans the unchangeable past and unattainable future; two things that DO NOT exist.  Too many of our words and actions come directly out of this scanning.  We act and speak from the assumptions of these alleged truths.

All of the information gathered by our Ego make a lens by which to see our reality.  We can all agree on this, but it’s easy to forget just how much naive trust we put into this viewpoint, how much we congruently live our lives by its ideas and values.

We’ve taken the beliefs of our Ego Self to be the ultimate, the things we absolutely know to be right or true, good or bad because they’ve come from our very own experiences, what we’ve seen through our very own eyes, the right opinion, the right viewpoint, the things we are so sure about. What we forget, however, is that these very same notions that our Ego holds on a sacred pedestal of truth are oftentimes believed to be false, misconstrued, or even evil by someone elses Ego, because of their own experiences and what they have seen with their own eye.  So who is right?

This Ego sometimes creates anger and sadness out of a situation where there need not be any.  We become drones, completely blind to the True Nature of Things, prisoners in our own minds, with the Ego as standing guard.

When we realize that this Ego is a lie,  we become free to live as who we truly are, whoever we want.  We can make our own destiny, our own path, and be free to contribute to the care, freedom and love of others because we are completely aligned with ourselves and do not waste time with assumptions and fake realities.

Meditation, positive thinking/affirmation,  one consciousness–for me, these ideas tie closely together with loss of the Ego personality. We strive to observe our thoughts and identify our Ego, and realize the scale by which these thoughts control us.  We then attempt to quiet the Ego, through meditation. And then what is left?  When we quiet down the “person” within us that doesn’t exist, we become our True Selves: this peaceful, full-experience entity that has wisdom from open nothingness to feel the inherent connection that all life shares, that we don’t yet fully understand (one consciousness).  We realize how powerful our minds are when we tap into this one consciousness and The True Nature of Things.  Our minds, living closer to the fields of energy that surround us, can intake and project positive energy. Our minds contain the power to bring us all of the things we imagine and strive toward when we float along with the universe (in which we are connected to) instead of fighting against it. When we come out of this self-centered imagined reality, we wake up to compassion, connection and love.  Everything naturally improves because everything is already better than we are perceiving it–the universe waits for us.

Pure Beauty!

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6 thoughts on “That pesky narrator.

  1. Wow! Beautifully written and explained. So true, thankyou.

  2. How do emotions fit into this? We are either created or evolved, our emotions perform a useful evolved function, what is that?

    When I go with the flow of the Universe, will I always be happy with my emotions?

    • Great question! That’s always one of the scariest thoughts–what about my emotions? Will I just become an emotionless, uncaring drone? Okay, here is my understanding and please correct me or elaborate if needed, I am only just beginning to learn.

      We have evolved with our emotions and they have served us well by pushing us along to new heights in this material world. Emotions have helped us drive through, to get to the point we are at today. But, these emotions may not be as useful as they once were. I feel we may be evolving out of these emotions, into feelings. Emotions come from thoughts, feelings come from our core being. We attach thoughts to our happiness or anger, we become attached to feeling certain emotions, and there lies the problem.

      When you go with the flow of the universe, its not particularly the emotion of happiness that we are feeling, its a peaceful, all encompassing feeling of Joy. I’ve gotten this feeling while meditating, being fully present and aware, and when I have those “ah-ha!” moments of great connection to the universe. This feeling of joy is beginning to underlie my life. I still feel angry, sad, happy, etc. But I can be sad, and joyful. Angry and joyful. Happy and joyful. I can identify the anger, and let it go, rather than attaching thoughts to the anger which only perpetuate it further. These emotions are not only easier to identify, I can observe the thought process brought on the emotion, and what happens in my mind as I am feeling the emotion. This way, I can strive for un-attachment to that feeling, even happiness. Happiness, like all human emotions are fleeting, and come from outside sources. We become happy when we acquire something we wanted, but eventually this happiness will fade, and we will want to replace it with acquiring something else so that we can continue being happy. Joyfulness comes from simply being, and therefore has no demands or expectations, and just IS.

  3. chelsea on said:

    Nice article! Once you see your Ego for what it is, you feel no pressure to be a certain way or live up to a certain idea of yourself. It is so liberating! I wish this realization upon every person.

  4. Good explanation… thanks

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