Zen Girl

Centering into the journey.

The joys of rebirth.

I’ve come to this.  Read it, as it is only the beginning.  Or don’t pay any attention-it doesn’t matter.  But the road will always be here and I will always be lighting the way.

This is very long and will seem repetitive– there are unlimited words to describe the essence of the same thing, and my mind has been releasing them continuously for the past 17 hours.  It will not end until some of it is released.

The only truth is what’s true for me.  It is the only thing that can be true, there is no separate truth waiting for you somewhere when you die, because you will no longer exist. There is no you, only your truth. Only the direction in which you are pointed. That will be carried along.  Your truth will continue with life, but you, as you identify yourself, will cease to continue.  There is no you, there is only life.  I will never die but when I die I will be reborn again, living in this joyful gaining of truth.  And when all is complete, all is Whole, there is no other side for which to balance out the joy and pure energy, nothing will take hold and the journey will begin once again.  In this way, we can never go backwards.  You are inevitably growing toward pure being and truth, this is the only outcome, the end. In the spirit of Karma you may go backward a bit if you are not careful, but once a higher point is reached growth can only continue to grow.  It Is.

To know it all and to see it all, to understand it all; this is what seems to be the end goal–the point by which everyone wants to arrive.  To know it all is to know life.  That is the end of the line;  to simply BE enlightened. You want to feel the fulfillment of truth, the contentment of knowing, the joy of living—so know it. I can’t give you a beating heart when you already ave one beating within you.

I think most of you who frequent this site can agree it can not be delivered to you by some outside know-er and controller-of-all.  Then it does not come from anywhere, it only is, and therefore it always was.  It cannot be found, there is no place to look.  If there was a place to look, that would be god, and therefore we could never know everything because there would be an Ultimate Know-er in which to ask– we could never obtain all truth.  If there is an all-knowing god, we cannot become all-knowing or we would become god itself.  A paradox. We can find pure love, strength and power within our own hearts; this has been proven time and again; and the existence of an all-knowing creator has not.   The truth is the truth.  The truth cannot be proven.  This is what I believe because I believe it, it will never be proven to me, because it cannot.  There is nothing to be proven.   There is no right or wrong, only life and death; truth and non-truth, joy and suffering, balance.

This is my state of mind; it has become what I am and when I die the essence of what I am will move on.  It is all a state of mind.  The only varying types of life that exist are states of mind.

To become enlightened you must be enlightened.

Whatever you believe in will be.  I believe I have reached the beginning of the ultimate of human existence, and so it is, and I am filled with pure joy. Still much more to learn, of course,because learning doesn’t stop.  That’s the point.

Life exists because it exists because it exists.

The meaning of life is that the meaning is always there, waiting for you.  You are in the meaning when you live it–life.  We dance around the very fact that there is no meaning, because we are too close to the meaning.  We tip toe around it, stomp over it, trip over it, miss it entirely, and yet we are in it, we ARE IT.  It’s not right under our noses, it is our noses.

There is nothing to explain.  Look at the words of a Buddhist master.  He is filled with riddles, with frustrating, nonsensical answers to life’s biggest questions.  The teacher is seemingly amused by the essence of the question and the power of the moment, of the teaching.  He knows there is no end goal to push the student into, and so takes great pleasure in giving the lesson.

IT does not make sense, that is the sense of it all.

The meaning of life is that which is.  The meaning of life is life itself.  The meaning of life is that there is no meaning.  Promise!  How can there be?  Nothing to fret about.  This doesn’t indicate there is no purpose. None of it matters, yes.  Take out the meaning and all you have left is the meaning.  Life is purpose.  And life never ends!  How can it, when life is the meaning of life?  It is a growing.  A happening.  A learning.  A discovery.  Life is suffering, because life is life—growing pains hurt.  The give and take hurts, until full giving becomes full getting, one in the same-nirvana.  But don’t get too attached to that idea, because it certainty won’t last until the end of time.  It cannot, there is no end. Nirvana starts and so it must end, and so it must start again.   What is here is here.  Consciousness can’t reach attainment and disappear entirely because what is defining nothingness?  If there is nothing but nothingness, the very concept itself cannot exist.

You can’t escape- it is the way of things.  So let go.  Life is suffering.
I LIVE. I do a little bit of things, and then I do more things.  The things I’m doing now will be different from the things I’m doing in 20 years.  It doesn’t matter.  They are just things to be doing.  I was looking for the shame in this and couldn’t find any–there is none to be found.  We cannot be defined by the things we do because those things are all temporary–only the intentions behind those things will carry forth.  If you are tied down from the things you want you will feel discontent.  But like attracts like, don’t forget, there is always a balance.  Love gets love.  There will always be hate and suffering.   It’s all happening now, and forever. The tortured soul and the god.  There cannot be lack of hate and suffering because without it there would be no love and happiness.  Life is a paradox.  It doesn’t make sense precisely because of the balance, of give and take.  It doesn’t make sense because it makes so much sense.

Defining life isn’t living life.  You aren’t living when you are thinking, you are defining the “living” you move through time and space with.  When you are fully in life (when we practice being in the present moment) this is when we feel most alive, to take a keen curiosity, a childlike wonder, and ever present focus.  Right now I feel most alive, because I can focus on this so very intently that my entire being is a on fire, my heart is at a heightened “aliveness” state.   I might nearly explode, but in a wonderful way.  I am alight with life.

I am certain that though I will feel tired, sad, lonely and upset at times, a bad day will never again occur in my reality.  I feel the need to dedicate my life to others, to balance work and play, and to soak up every second of it.
It all comes back.  Have you ever met someone who gladly and modestly gave much of their energy to the happiness  of others?  Did you find them to be  an unstable, sad or discontent person?

Karma, a receiving from a giving. Giving is ultimately selfish. Balance.  Give and take.  Yin and yang.  Male and female.  Birth and Death.  Ultimate respect of life will create ultimate selfishness, and the cycle with begin again.

Living is the only purpose.  It’s not something that can be defined so that you will understand it in a way that you can put into words yourself.  I may be putting SOMETHING into words, but what exactly is, I cannot tell you in such definitive terms.  It’s everything. Indescribable.  You can only get there with yourself, your mind, reflection.  Words cannot describe what you innately are, because you are nothing, only a reflection of life.  Another tiny viewpoint out of one immensely great story.  You are in the middle of it, the center of all.  You are everything because, there is only you in your mind.
Should you strive for enlightenment?  It is only the end and the beginning. Not as big of a deal as you may thing, because realizing it IS only the end and the beginning is to realize it’s essence. Either way, growth will continue without your consent–fighting it will be painful.

There is no Why.  Why what?  Why life?  Why consciousness?  Well, what else do you think there could possibly be?  Imagine yourself unaware of yourself?  Imagine yourself not existing, not present.  Can’t do it?  You see!   It doesn’t exist, the Why doesn’t exist, the meaning doesn’t exist, and you don’t exist, because you will always exist.   There is nowhere for you to have come from.

Death is not so scary of a concept–though I’d still like to thrive in this life, as I am quite enjoying it.  You have to start over.  But not to fear!  There cannot be unawareness without awareness.

Enlightenment itself is just a state of mind.  It is completely meaningless, and it will bring you completeness and joy. I do not care if you reach enlightenment, but I will dedicate my life to inspiring it.  It is the means to an end, the beginning. Strive for it always, though I do not care if you get there…because it is not a solid destination to be defined.  You do not get there, you are. You inevitably are and will be.   It may take you 500 more lifetimes; or, 2 more days.  Time has no meaning, it is a happening.  Forward from the ultimate state is to begin again.  Forward.  Not in the sense of time but in growth.  A happening.  A happening IS the essence of time.

You love yourself as much as you want to  be loved, which is how much you love others.  It does not matter.  But DO love yourself!  It’s all up to you. Misery = bad.  Love = good.  Simple.

We all describe the feeling of meditation and our minds on certain drugs in similar ways.  Some feel it as the connection to everything, a tapping into ALL.  Some feel it is when they are their true self, their true innate being.  A reconnection.  A reconnection to the source, you and me.  It’s all of it!  Hello, goodbye!  A peekaboo.  All of this is a peekaboo. Hello, goodbye to me!  Reconnect, play, reconnect, play, reconnect, play (or suffer, depending on how you look at it and where you are in your state of mind).  This is the way of the universe, the way of life.  A more permanent reconnection inspires a more fulfilling play.  Reconnection to the source, reconnection to yourself, and reconnection to everything in existence are all one in the same. We can reconnect briefly through meditation, drugs and death.  They are one in the same.  A nothingness, back to the source, nothingness.  So die!  You will be a baby again, the mini-process for the cosmic process we call the Universe, or God being born.  A peekaboo.
In someone else’s lifetime, some place and sometime else (which is happening now) it is the universes final awakening, a final enlightenment.  It is destroyed and recreated.  This is endless, happening all at once.  Infinity.  Circling, spiraling, never ending. Cycles, patterns, infinity, all the same.   Your viewpoints, my viewpoints, their viewpoints, all separate ways to arrive at the same end, they are multiplying and converging, especially with the internet.  We’ve figured it out!  Hello!  I see you!  Goodbye, I am born again.  It will all come back around, don’t fret.  Just live; and do so joyfully—that is what you are in the deepest core of your being.  Life. Joy.

You see, it’s a matter of scale.  I wake up in the morning, I am born into a new day every day.  And a new moment every moment.  We learn something new and grow, creating a new reality, a new understanding.  I was born, into this life 26 years ago.  I am born again upon enlightenment.  The awakening grows and adds upon itself,  a death and rebirth will happen, that of the source, the entire universe.   Everything is born, out of nothing.  Everything dies, back to nothing.  It is all nothing.
There is no magical end result of this.  Do not fear death, for you shall never die. This is heaven and this is hell.  Nothing has changed–enlightenment will not change the world, it is the world.  I am God, now, and as an ant. All gods die.  It’s all layers upon layers upon layers—infinity. You can all argue about what is fact, truth, what has been proven, what hasn’t .  But the only truth you can really be sure of is that you are alive!  The meaning of life!  You can all argue the finer points, and please do as they will help you grow–but know, there is truly no point beyond what is, you already have it.

We can be enlightened all day long, it doesn’t matter.  Enlightenment doesn’t matter.  You want to be enlightened, let it be.  You want to be full of hate, let it be, and so it shall, but know it is what you are.  To feel what I feel fills me with pure joy, and so shall it spread.  I am me.  If I bite me, me hurts (or me likes it, depending on my mood).  The source is awakened in me, so the source is alive.  The means to an end, but not the end.  Wherever you go, there you are.  There is never a different you, there is only ever you, ever.  When you die and become something else conscious of itself, you will still be your essence, seeing a different reality through the material realm.

When you spread love, love comes to you.  Selfish, and selfless.    Why do the teachers use riddles?  Why do they seem content with confusing and  stumbling the student?  Because that is the point!  That is life.  A paradox is the truth.

Study the words carefully and remember, they do not matter.  There is no end.  There cannot be existence without non-existence.  I can continue with these words effortlessly,  my fingers never stopping, enough words to wrap around the universe–

For eternity.


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2 thoughts on “The joys of rebirth.

  1. Pingback: All Exists Within Nothingness | Shift Frequency

  2. In your words: “The meaning of life is that which is. The meaning of life is life itself. The meaning of life is that there is no meaning.” Brilliant! And the purpose of life is simply to live it. And so it is……… CC

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