Zen Mornings 11/25/11
I’m changing my blog a bit, to play around with a few different ideas. This particular idea adds a bit more of my personal life to each blog, while I incorporate Zen living into my daily living. I think this could suit anyone who views the tales of others journeys as lights for their own. We never stop learning. This journey has no destination, the destination is the journey.
I’m going to start posting every morning, to share what was learned the day before and allow it to be released from myself. I’ve outlined my intentions in the “Release Zen Yesterdays” section. I truly do love mornings, so I’m anxious to see where this goes. I think it will be beneficial for the creation of a solid daily writing habit for myself. I’d love to hear any feedback on the change, as well as anyone’s own Zen or personal journey stories. 🙂
Yesterday I learned that all thought based feelings are an illusion. I knew this of course, but yesterday I felt it. Earlier in the morning I “missed” someone without missing the person themselves. I felt sad, but I could not even remember what exactly it was that I felt sad about. I do not feel something missing in my life from lack of his presence, not at all. This is an illusion, masking my anger and resentment and sadness. I felt forgotten about. Betrayed by a friend. No reason to be, but this was my true feeling on the matter, and my Ego would not let me see this. It erased the scenario altogether to make things less painful, but I sensed fully the illusion of my emotion. I do not miss this person, there is nothing to miss. There is no past or future, and what I feel about those events are misconstrued anyways. Thought-based emotions that arise must be scrutinized for authenticity.
Yesterday I learned that to grasp for Zen to find truth and wisdom is an illusion. For to grasp at Zen and seek Zen is to miss Zen. To grasp creates a self in which to do the grasping, creating an illusion that Zen is something separate from ourselves, something obtainable. There is nothing to obtain, and no one to obtain it. It is just the way of things, and for me to put too much belief or thought into what I have learned would be a mistake. One must “lose” themselves to become Zen, because Zen cannot be owned…it is simply life itself. I must become life itself to become Zen, not to own Zen. I cannot get stuck on any truths because the only truth is Zen and it cannot be contained by merely one. These things I’m listing to you, the things I’ve learned, I must move on from them. Zen is change. What I learned yesterday and what I learn today will change. Impermanence lies within All.
Yesterday I learned that your childhood will always come back. Do not think you will know in what form, as this will surely surprise you. For me, it is the current house guest who is a childhood friend. And the past couple of days I wondered why so many thoughts of my personality and how it relates to my past have arisen. I’ve unwillingly spent the past few days figuring out for myself who I am and how my past and my childhood has affected me. I did not know my friends’ presence would do this to me, but it has, and I must remember—don’t kill the messenger– especially an unintentional one. Your past will come back, be ready for it and remember that it does not rule you. I am real, only in the now, the past has never existed and never will.
Yesterday I learned how simple my wants and desires have become. I’ve learned to embrace being a minimalist, and embrace the happiness that comes with what I’ve already got and what life brings me, while always moving forward. Floating forward. Simple. Life is simple. It’s our minds who are doing the confusing.
Let us quiet.