Zen Mornings 12/8/11
Yesterday I learned that a house only becomes a home when it is ready. It’s been nearly a year and a half since the four of us moved into this house. We’ve spent that time rearranging constantly, figuring out where to put all of our stuff with limited storage space, being busy and lazy and not committing the time to finish, to put all of our art up and make it as cozy as possible. Finally, late last night of all times, it begun. A few days ago we acquiring a work bench for keeping things that up until that point, were scattered about the house. This led to one housemate feeling inspired to build shelves and racks and decorate their room, which led to inspiring me to finally finish some projects and decorate my room, which led to us deciding to make our living room more cozy for our visitors while still having a “living space”. With all the random (mostly free) furniture we have acquired over the last year, somehow, there is an actual color scheme and everything matches nicely. Are we decorating the house, or is the house decorating itself? It has manifested itself quite organically.
Yesterday I learned that it never hurts to share what we know or have learned with others, even if it seems to be a pointless endeavor, such as writing this blog. I have to keep in mind how much we can learn from each other, how important it is for all of us in this life to hear and understand the opinions and lessons of other realities–and maybe even take a little piece of that understanding for ourselves, and allow it to help build upon our own understandings and truths.
Yesterday I learned that anxiety can build up in my body without my mind even knowing it. Five days ago, I made a doctor’s appointment for something I was very, very nervous about and have put off for a couple of years because of fear of the physical pain. Immediately after making the appointment, I allowed it to slip out of my mind so I would not dwell on my nervousness and make things worse. I was fairly successful at this–I would remember the impending appointment only about once a day, but would let it continue on its way and not linger there in anxiousness. I was able to keep with this calm and peaceful state of mind, up until my appointment yesterday morning. In fact by the time I arrived at the office I was so clear of thoughts that I was having a hard time filling out my paperwork. This calmness proved to be very beneficial for the appointment, and all went smoothly. Immediately after the procedure, however, my whole body began to shake, I felt faint and nauseous and tears flooded to my face. This happened after everything was over and I was no longer in pain. It seemed as though all the anxiety and fear I kept at bay came out in a surge of emotion through my body the moment my mind would allow it to do so.
Yesterday I learned that stretching feels divine after a few glasses of red wine, a small bag of lavender and orange peel bath salt makes my whole room smell amazing (can’t wait to actually take a bath with it), making new furniture out of something old is a fun endeavor (see the table below–my first), San Diego Winters feel like Northern Michigan Springs, puppies are always cute, even if the breed isn’t, and I am missing the ocean. So close, yet so far away.