Zen Girl

Centering into the journey.

Trying a new approach.

This blog is going through major changes over the next few days, so bare with me.

I’ve been unemployed for well over a month now.  I’ve spent most of my time looking for work, while putting some effort into various writing and craft projects, but not as much as I would like.  On the weekends when I let myself relax from the worry and just focus on doing what I love, I’ve felt more contentment and fulfillment than I’ve ever known. (duh.) But the rest of the time, the job-search has been stressful, nagging, and downright full of awful. Remember that epically hated question I’ve talked about before?  But what am I going to DO? –Yeah.  I still hate it.

I’ve always looked for jobs and opportunities outside of myself to make me happy. This job search has caused the most gut-wrenching, off-my-path, soul-destroying, everything-is-wrong feelings I’ve ever had.  My intuition has been screaming at me to cut the crap and dedicate myself to, well…myself.  A couple of days ago, something dawned on me.  Just do what you’re already doing!  Do what you do!

 

And so I am.

 

With the help of a small unemployment check, food assistance,  and various extra projects, I’ve realized that I can sustain myself quite easily–and I don’t need much to make me happy.  Given this new realization and the fact that nothing has panned out by way of a typical job, this is the perfect opportunity for me to put all of my efforts and dedication into the things I already do and love to do.   Eventually, with practice and time, more projects will present themselves and great opportunities will naturally arise.  I can finally be myself–someone who gets off on doing many different things all the time–someone who loves the changing tides and eclectic lifestyles and trying new things.  Let’s see how it goes.

I have a knack for landing on my feet, but this time around I don’t think that I’ll be landing at all.

I’ll be flying.

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