Zen Girl

Centering into the journey.

I forget myself sometimes

but I always get little reminders.  I am always here, I simply choose to forget.  I get lost in the game of where to go, who to pursue, what to do.  I get lost in the meaning of it all.  I get lost in the love and the hate. I get lost in the ‘getting to’.  I forget about the here, the journey.  My creativity falls away.  Sponteneous creation, authentic here-ness.  It feels too far away to grasp.  I am lost in the questions, the problems, the options, heavy loads of possible solutions to each equation.  Many forks in the road.  A heavy burden, my whole life.

 

But even during these times, I feel a lot.  So much.  From the soothing rhythm of a song.  The beauty of a magnificent flower in the middle of the bustling city.  The way the sky looks.  The sound of a birds wings. The escape into wilderness.  The beauty of a persons energy.  The massage of a stream of water. The complexity of an unspoken dynamic.  The endless connections of cause an effect, the infinite creation, and the nothingness, the emptiness that all things share.  I am forever changed.  And even when I forget myself, my ability to create,  like much of these past few months, I am always still here.  My self, the self I have become, who deep down embraces becoming, now has the gift of being reminded every day how beautiful life is.

I’m still here.

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2 thoughts on “I forget myself sometimes

  1. Wow, Zen Girl, now it’s my turn to tell you how much your writing inspires me. There are tears rolling down my face, because no one has ever articulated so perfectly what it feels like — the being lost and re-found and lost again and reclaimed. Thank you for these words–I see in them a mirror of my own consciousness struggling to just emerge and be.

  2. Wow, what a comment! This is why I write. ❤

    I'm so grateful for a community of writers like you who I can connect with on a level of understanding of what it's like to be lost and found over and over. I think that, with all things, it will balance out with time, and we will be more found than lost. 🙂

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