A long post filled with crazy black squiggles.

Learning comes as waves.  Some are big, some are small.  Sometimes, there are no waves at all, and I simply rest into the things I have learned and quietly try to implement them into my life.  Then other times, the giant waves crash into me, and I float high on understanding.

 

Crashing Wave (Photo credit: Clearly Ambiguous)

The tide came in and knocked me right down last night.  A glimpse into something greater than myself, or simply a part locked deep inside of me, was released and I could barely stand the weight of the joy.  I could feel it in my knees, my chest, my feet, my arms. Light radiated through me and it was so overwhelming, I don’t think I would have been able to stand up.  It probably only lasted about 5 precious minutes, though I can’t say for sure.  And now, I am trying to make sense of the understanding I felt, and the writing I spewed onto the page faster than my thinking could comprehend.

Found my eyes washed away.

Walked to the Sea.  Found my eyes washed away.  In the dark, here to stay.  But the dark, it’s light! 

The Circle

A tree moves with the wind and never against it.   It must.  Trees have no reason to fight against that which is.  Humans do not either.  But to make any sense of who we are, to learn anything about our nature, to get to a place of knowing, of understanding, we had to learn communication.  We had to figure out a way to label what we experienced and relay this information to others.

So began language.  But do we really know any more than that which sits?  That which does not think?  That which does not ask why? We come full circle, back to a place of nothingness.  A place of silence, of stillness, of just being.  Back to a baby, back to the beginning– full circle.  We are neither ahead nor behind, only part of the circle, ever rotating.  None more intelligent than the other.  We will come full circle, as will the universe.  It always has and always will.

A choice.

This is absolutely a choice.  It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to be hard.  It can rip your life apart, but you have to make the conscious decision on how far you want to go.  How far down the rabbit hole do you want to fall?  There is no end to the falling, and you can stop anytime. 

That pesky narrator.

I’m a of fan and student of Eastern traditions and Buddhist teachings.  Part of this includes understanding that personal, individual experience and who we think we are is an illusion, that our minds think as a constant and pointless reaffirmation of our living state, that knowing the true wisdom of life comes from loss of Ego, and that many benefits can be had from identifying and losing this Ego self.  As I continue learning, here is my initial understanding of the Ego.